Graduation, which means I just fulfilled a milestone in my life, and there is more stuff I need to do in the future. I feel anxious, I don’t know what I can do in the future, where should I go…
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Last week, finally back to church, I heard a voice, “this is home, here is it.” I always feel that I have a very close relationship with God, especially when I pray, some people said I believe it blindly, but I can said that I heard and he is there, when I seek for him, he is there.
He knows everything about me, He knows what I’m afraid of, my anxiety, my weakness, my good, He knows, He is God, our Father.
I came from a single family, even though my parents weren’t divorce, but they been separate for more than 20 years; conservative family than just like boy more than girl always makes me feel that I need to be stronger and stronger; I only can rely on myself, no one can help me.
The first time I been to church when I was 16, I remember I hate my mom so much, I hate her bring me to this world, I hate myself to be a daughter why not a son, I hate her just care about my elder brother… I remember the first time the pastor prayed for me, he said “forgive your mother, the things that she did, she doesn’t know.”
Right now, I love my mom, I care about my family, I fight for my right, I’m still afraid, but I know God is with me, Jesus is here for me, for us, for a better nation.